Monday, March 29, 2010

the battle rages on...and on....

6:24 my blasted alarm clock yells at me. I hop into the shower and promptly sit down, when I run the shampoo through my hair, is when I first notice it. I stand up with gusto to get a better look at it....its still there. I hurry up, finish my shower, and like any other red-blooded American with 2 X chromosomes stand in front of the mirror.
damn- still there.
What has me creating a mini-drama before most people have even started eating their post-toasties?
A bulge on my belly that has never been there before. There is actually a part of my stomach that I can not see the underneath of. I was shocked and overwhelming self conscience. I jumped into my school uniform, scrubs-lean over and put on my shoes. The waistband of my scrub bottoms folded by the pressure of my massive 2ton belly. All day long I could feel my lard pushing against my scrub top.

It is so frustrating, to have the drive to exercise, but trapped in a body that can only do so much.
When I got home, I got a package in the mail, a t-shirt I ordered off amazon. It says, "I tame wild things!" Naturally I put it on, and to my disgust-it was so freakin tight, that the bottom of the shirt rolled up.
The next outfit I put on was workout clothes.

And so the battle rages on; I will ride my bike in the evenings, and fight extreme fatigue during the day.
The vain, bitter war of a flat belly, tight butt, and lean arms versus flab.
Well more honestly, the real battle is me finding the middle ground between my mind and my body. Like I have said before, I am all or nothing. I push and push and push, and push myself until I am too exhausted to push anymore.

So I am setting a new goal, a limiting goal. Slow and steady wins the race-right?
No more than 25-35 minutes a day.

The battle RAGES on!

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