Dear Doctors,

To all the doctors that told me,

 "Give up on the idea of running, take up horse back riding instead"

or

"You're health problems are caused from sleep apnea, not Pectus Excavatum, surgery will be useless-don't bother enduring the painful surgery"

or 

"You're just not pushing yourself hard enough, it's not the Pectus Excavatum, it's mind over matter"

or 

"Pectus Excavatum doesn't effect your lungs and heart at all--you're just lazy"

All of you jerk's can go jump off a bridge. And when you're swimming to shore, make sure you are breathing through a straw, then maybe we'll be even!!

I am went ahead had the surgery and now almost 24months post op, I am actually living life.  (believe it or not the first 12-18months post op I was still recovering, only now at 22 months do I really feel a difference.  My lungs are just now starting to expand and really grow, so I will only be getting more healthy and stronger as I get older-how lucky am I?)

This was my 2nd 5k.

 AFTER

 

My first Mud Run:

 

I have mild lung disease, I have 52% lung capacity, at one point my heart was pumping from underneath my left armpit.  And there are parts of my lungs being used for the first time-ever!!  I have days where the "it's unfair monster" takes a hold of me, but living life to the fullest is the best revenge.

"The first time you tell me, 'I can't' that is the first thing I am gonna do!!"

Because that's how I roll!!

chickens, thread, and spring cleaning

So sorry about my nearly 45 day disappearance.  Between work, school, raising chicken's and getting in spring cleaning.  I have been seriously busy.

Here's what you missed.

Lula-bug, one of the runts

March 1st-we welcomed 10baby chickens into our home.  They were seriously cute, and seriously fluffy.  There were 2 that were so little, they other girls/boys kept knocking them over, so they spent a lot of time with me.  I was fighting allergies at that time, so a lot of that time was spent in bed.  Now, those 2 girls are my biggest cuddle bugs-which I love!!

The sea of thread!

Angie and the husband

Mid-March-we welcomed 6more chickens to our brood.  Totally us out at 21 chickens!!!  Okay, so my awesome-bad ass brother who has taken over the family farm (he lives on 40 magical acres-that land is the happiest place on earth) he decided that he wanted chickens too, my husband initially got 5 Rhode island reds, and 5 sex-links (straight run) the more we watched the sex-links, the more we decided that at least 3 were roosters.  So Bo decided he wanted more chickens that he knew were pullets.  So, the husband eagerly went down and got him 6 more, they were barred rocks.  All so very cute!!

End of March-We said goodbye to 11 baby chickens.  We kept 4 of the Rhode Islands and 1 barred rock.  Now the 5 girls are living in their brood box in the guitar room.  I am thinking next weekend they will make the move outside.  When the husband and I get home from work, we load the 5 babies in a box and haul them outside.  We also let the big girls out and we lay on a yard rug and enjoy the soft cooing of the big girls and gentle cheeps of the little girls.  So far, the babes and big girls don't really care for each other-but they have finally accepted that each other are chickens.

I love this succession of pictures.

 Roz, posing for the camera

 Roz decided I didn't capture her face from a good angle and insisted I try again.  (Lula, being curious)

 Ever, the drama queen, she wanted another picture with her head slightly tilted!

 Hen pecked! 

 Human baby chicken roost!

 It's official-My chickens are hams!

 Or camera hogs!

First of April- I had to retrieve the items from my old special ed. classroom (I have been re-assigned after an accident at work left the tendons in my right wrist almost severed) so they got shoved in my den, then the husband's grandmother gave me all the sewing notions from her sewing room, and that went in my den.  I finally cracked under all the clutter and went on a cleaning bender.  The den is finally organized, and though some of the clutter still drives me nuts, I can tolerate it now.  Then, I realized that the carpeted floors are gross-so I steam cleaned the crap out of 3rooms (well still in the process of cleaning-since we farm the crap out of our nearly acre lot, we are in and out of our house a lot.  Tracking in everything.  The floors are gross!!! Can't wait til the day we rip the carpet out and put in wood flooring)

Second week of April- I have decided to dive into the world of making clothes.  I come from the world of upholstery sewing.  So I know all the sewing 101 stuff, but in upholstery, you usually make your own patterns, like pillows, curtains, cushions....you just measure and sew.  Well, clothes making is far from upholstery work.  So, it's been a fun challenge.  I enjoy sewing, it brings me close to my grandmothers who both were phenomenal seamstress' and quilt makers.  

Yesterday-I ran in the Original Mud Run.  It was fun, and I am exhausted.  I also have a test tomorrow in class, and a presentation due.  So I will leave you with some pictures. 

I'm alive, hopefully without permenant damage

How to begin this post?  My last post promised I would be around more often, but then I dropped the ball, and for that I am sorry.  But to say that my life has been crazy-busy and insane, here’s the month-to-month run down!

October, It was my birthday month so I enjoyed shopping, I got new shoes, handbag, clothes, the list goes on.  I had a lovely dinner with my parents and brother.  It was a wonderful month, the calm before the storm, really.

November 11, 2011 started out to be a difficult and trying day at work.  It started out with being slapped in the face by a student, I had a chair thrown at me, it was a hard day, but it ended with a misfortunate accident where a ligament in my right wrist was severed-which requires me to be on leave from work.  Since then, my road to healing has been paved with emotion and physical issues.  (more on that later)  We hosted Thanksgiving at our house this year, and the night before the husband and I got into a fight, that to this day-I am still NOT over!! 

You would think that I have been off from work, I would have tons of projects done, but with my hand injured using it hurts-typing included.  So, I have all this time off work, and nothing to show for it.  Nothing but high credit card bills (I shop when I am upset) and restlessness.  

December-We went to Colorado on a family vacation.  Once again, it was my parents, brother and sister-in-law and my best friend that is practically a sister and another wild-child for my parents.  I went snow-skiing, fell a bunch of times, crashed several more times but eventually figured it out.  We also went snow mobiling which ended in me laying in a creek in 5 degree weather AND an E.R. visit.  *sigh*  But wait, there’s more!!  The last morning we were there my bat-ass-crazy sister-in-law came up to me (it was 5:30 in the morning, I was still coming down off the pain meds from my E.R. visit) and she started screaming at me about how my brother was a “piece of shit” and blah-blah-blah, and just as the wrath was boiling up from my loins and I was about to lay her out, Hurricane bat-ass-crazy sister-in-law changed wind directions and went after my friend (or “number 3” as daddy refers to her.  Big brother is #1, I’m # 2…she’s #3) “and he said he f#@%ed you on the mountain.”  Now as crass as that is to write (or read) it was hysterical to hear.  I mean it was -11 degrees at the top of the mountain and -8 at the base.  I will have to write and entire post to set up the story a little better. 

Christmas eve-I didn’t get up off the couch, between the soreness of crashing-I mean skiing and the snow mobile accident, I hurt pretty bad and to add insult to injury-I got a cold.

Christmas day- went to my in-laws, sweet talked my father-in-law to shoot his rifle, opened presents-nothing too wild.

 

January-We welcomed the arrival of our newest family member (the fuzzy-four legged kind) Hazzard Lee-Rose.  She’s half red-heeler and half foxhound.  She’s a goofy mess, but going to make a wonderful dog.

I am hoping that mid-January I can return to work, I miss my students so-so much.  I also have learned I am not the “stay-at-home” type.  Luckily training Hazzard and my neighbor’s leather-sewing machine have been keeping me somewhat busy!  I think about posting stories all the time, but getting the stories from my head-to the computer, that’s where I suck.  I mean my life-and all the crap that happens to in it, ya just can’t make this shit up.  I mean from sex on a mountain in -11 degree weather to being summoned for federal jury duty while on leave from work, to snow mobile accidents, to conversations like this,

Husband: “how was your doctors appointment (the one I went to for my head-cold)

Me: “he said it was a cold, he’s worried about it going into my lungs b/c my breathing test was more crappy than usual.  But I got a shot and should be back to normal in 3 days.”

Husband: “well your lungs should be stronger since you just got back from skiing for 4days.”

Me: “I know, but the doctor said that the proof is in the pudding, and even though my numbers suck, my level of activity shows I am better.”

Husband, “that’s true-hmm.  Well I am glad you’re okay and everything is going to be alright!”

Me: “CRAP!!  I think I am driving on the wrong side of the road!”

Husband: *heavy sigh*

I’m telling ya-can’t make this shit up!!

(pictures are from our Colorado trip)

Round here, trying better!

So, this is what it has come to? 259 posts, 2 followers, 2,391 total views for 2 ½ years.  I get about 2 views a day and 93 views last month.  I guess putting it in math terms doesn’t make is soo bad.  But, really, Kristin, geez, I need to be better about blogging.  There are so many things I think, “I should blog about that” like tonight, I made a up Pork roast brine (I am hopeful it won’t be too salty) and my lasted addiction herbed flatbread, I make a giant ball of dough on Sunday and it lasts the entire week.  Then there’s my shopping addiction, umm.... I went shopping today and some cut shoes and a new purse just fell into my hands, I also got some new shampoo.  Isn’t it totally exciting when you get new shampoo? 

So here are some new things that are up at the NachoMatic household.  1) The husband got a job-Hooray! (makes shopping feel less guilty) 2) Our lovely hens are laying 5 eggs a day!! Man, those checkered girls are spoiled rotten! 3) School has started up, and I have 7students.  My room is equally compared to absolutely mayhem.  I have 3-first graders, and 1-second grader, 2-fourth graders, and 1-third grader.  MAYHEM!!  4) I am on the getting-better side of a lung infection, which left me out of work for a week.  5) I am working on 2 projects, on my biggest project involving my sewing machine; I have encountered some technical difficulties I just can’t figure out how to sew around it.

So I am going to try my super-duper hardest to start working on posting more fun-filled stories about my life.  Haha!

Cowtown 5K!

It is hard to imagin that a year ago, I was miserable on the couch watching the world pass me through the window of my lap top.  Now, I am running in a 5K with my school.  My aide (she is the lady I am standing next to in the top picture) forced me to sign up for it.  I was planning on walking the entire thing, but when I found out we were in the back....my competitive nature just couldn't handle coming in last.

So I ran.  And let me tell you, running is still physically painful, twisting my core makes me become acutely aware of where the 8inch bar is, in my chest.  Running the last half mile, I could see the finish line, I was in so much pain, I wanted quit....BUT I kept running and when I crossed the finish line, I wanted to cry!!

I got pretty emotional when I crossed the finish line-it speaks volumes to me how much my life has changed in a year. 

All the changes are pretty exciting!!

And guess what?  Like an idiot, I have signed up for another bloody 5k.  

I am an idiot!

Quick question for ya: How long does it take to teach me a valuable lesson?

I can't put this question in terms of time, but I can answer in terms of monetary value.


Answer:     1 laptop

                   1 camera

                   1; 8GB Zune (mp3player)



Grand total of $1600!!



That's right, $1600 to teach me NOT TO PUT MY WATER IN MY PURSE!!!

For my A.D.D., I take a salt-based pill, which makes me extremely thirsty. So all day long I drink water…the husband even bought me a pink coffee mug that I can flip closed (the seal is amazing) You'd think when I tossed my cup in my purse I would remember to check if the cup is closed. Nope, I don't…b/c I am an idiot!

I have decided that the world of electronics is thoroughly pissed at me. After killing their friends, camera, Zune, and laptop…they want my head on a silver platter. After typing the first paragraph I got up to get something to drink, tripped on my laptop cable went flying through the air landing on my knees, catching myself on my wrists (which I broke both of them when I was 8-jumping out of the back of a truck-going 35mph) and falling on my face. Almost 6months post op I still have some enemies.

1. Coughing
   
2. Sneezing
   
3. Hard laughing
   
4. Falling!
   

So, somehow I must make peace with electronics. Before they turn all 2001: a space odyssey on my ass and kill me!

And why is all this happening to me?



Because I am an idiot!!


 

I heart question/answer time!

Q) What type of dog is Mia? How old is she?

A) Ms. 'Mia Jean Ham' bone is none as an Australian cattle dog, more specifically a red heeler. She was suppose to be my brother's dog, but we fell hopelessly in love with each other and from the moment I held her-Bo knew she was meant for me! I either got her in high school or college-I honestly don't remember. Mia is a wonderful dog, she is sweet, loving, just the right mix of aggressive/protective and love-me, love-me. She goes by another name in this house….it's called a "hand whore." If you sit down, her head is somewhere near your hands.

Q) You mentioned your birthday was in October, what did you do to celebrate?

A) Well this birthday was a big celebration. 1) I turned 30. 2) I was celebrating my almost 6month post op!!! So I decided to party the entire month.

We had a party at the house and we served beef/chicken jerk k-bobs, with sangria's. It was such a wonderful party! (I have some pictures but they ended up on the husbands computer.

I got to meet Dr. Temple Grandin

I bought wonderful tickets to see Shakira in concert.

Q) How did your camera get murdered by drowning? Please explain.

A) *sigh* I have a bad habit of tossing my morning tea/water glass in my purse as I am walking out the door. I also have an even worse habit of not closing the lid on my said tea/water glass. Now, it would be one thing if this unfortunate event only occurred once, ya know, I might get a little bit of sympathy for it. But sadly friends, this was like the 6 or 7^th time this occurred. Specifically speaking the morning my camera was murdered, I was heading out at 5am to meet my colleagues to car pool into Dallas to attend an Autism Super-conference. I filled up my glass with water (to the rim) tossed it into my purse kissed the husband goodbye and headed out into the cold morning. When I arrived at the previously determined location I crawled into the back of the mini-van…just thrilled about getting the opportunity to meet and listen to the world's leading experts in Autism. As we merged onto the interstate I reached into my purse to pull out some medication and that is when I realized everything in my purse was soaked!

I have to add a shout out to my purse. I don't believe in spending over $125 for a purse, but I do believe in buying quality. My current purse (it will be retiring for the fall/winter b/c its happy yellow.) has been flooded many times and not once has it leaked through the inner-lining! Good Purse!

You asked….I answered

waiting on wheel chair to leave hospital

Q) Why did you need surgery?

A) I was born with a congenital birth defect call pectus excavatum, I had surgery to fix it when I was 4, and the doctors back then guaranteed I would be "cured" and "fixed." I seriously never thought about it, until a year ago when I went to the doctor to figure out why I was sick all the time and we realized that my chest was caved in, pushing my heart over and sitting comfortably on top of my lung. So my wonderful doctor broke, removed and shaved down some bones and magically constructed a new chest!

Q) How is your health?

A) My health is GREAT! I saw my asthma doctor last week and he had wonderful-wonderful news. I NO longer have asthma, nor does he think I ever did. My lungs are finally behaving the way normal lungs should. Hooray! But. (Boo!) I still have a long ways to go, my lungs are pretty weak, and they don't have enough power to keep up with my body when I try heavy cardio. I have to work out and train my lungs just like an athlete trains and works out at the gym. How slow you ask? Like, coal turning into diamonds slow.

When I got home from the hospital I started walking around the house, then I managed to make it to the end of the driveway. Eventually I made it to the end of the block. And now…I walk about 3 miles a day! I also do some very light weights and I can't seem to get passed about 5 crunches without extreme and intense pain. But slowly I am building back some of the muscle tone that got jacked up during the surgery. Turns out, a foot of hose shoved & stitched in your belly really screws up a girls figure!

Q) So do you love the "new and improved dent free body?"

A) NO….well kind of. Maybe. I dunno, I have issues!

Let me explain: It took me 8 months to go from the diagnosis of, "you have asthma and 47% lung capacity" to being on the operating table-it happened so fast. My mind was just starting to grasp that something was really wrong with me. Then 7.5 hours later, I woke up in the surgical intensive care unit unable to breathe, and saw my so called 'new' dent free body with tubes, wires, and bars in it. I was in so much pain when I woke up from the surgery, I was drugged up, I was on morphine, had an epidural inserted in my neck, I had more pain medication injected into my IV 3 times a day. All that and I WAS STILL IN PAIN!

The surgery was so external, they took apart, and re built my chest using a metal bar. My ribs, collar bone and shoulders all sit differently, my back muscles are being pulled in new directions, my clothes are too small because my chest is a round, and not in the shape of the letter |B|. My stomach muscles have atrophied. And overall I am pretty weak.

The surgeon left my pleural-sack open (the sack that encases your lungs) to give my lungs more room to expand, but the side effect to this was I didn't have the pressure to talk, cough or laugh. Breathing was my enemy! Every time I took in a shallow breath, my bones popped It was so hard. My pulse ox (amount of oxygen in the blood) stayed between 65-70%, I could only take in 150cc of air into my lungs, 3000-4000 is normal.

Working on getting this body back into shape, I am starting to understand how intricate and complex this surgery turned out to be. I tried to wean myself off pain medication 2 weeks after surgery because I thought it showed weakness that I needed it. Ha!

For me, the hardest part of the surgery wasn't the pain, it was the psychological effects.

I missed the old me and wanted to pull a takesy-backsy. *sigh* but Chad said it was too late and that he enjoyed seeing pink toes and red checks. I felt so foreign in my own body, I had gotten so accustom to the landscape, I didn't recognize the scared up woman looking back at me in the mirror. It was ironic really, I thought my ragged and flawed body was beautiful, but it was actually killing me.

Chad took a picture of my pink toes.

When he got to see me after the surgery, it was the first thing he looked at, b/c they used to be black!

My mind just was not accepting the change! When I got home from the hospital, I couldn't bring myself to look at it, touch it, or even clean it. Eventually I got to where I would clean it, but only with my eyes closed tightly and head turned. Ha!

On a scale of 1-10 (10 feeling beautiful again) I would say I am at a 4. Walking, and working out has really helped me re-connect with this landscape.

I find some comfort knowing that most 30 year olds are starting to slow down and get lazy, but this new body and new level of energy, I am finding that I am the opposite.

thats the bar in my chest.

Q) What are your, won't live without/wants to live without?

Won't live Without: 1) zune mp3 player. 2) my Chad 3)my faith

Wants to live without: 1)close minded people 2)Mcdonalds & walmart 3)people who don't recycle!

Great questions: keep em coming!

**Post published edit: the last picture was taken by my surgeon. Before I was wheeled down the long white hallway to a new beginning, my surgeon asked the husband and I if we wanted him to take pictures. Without hesitation the husband pulled out our camera (may it Rest In Peace) and my doctor slid it into his scrub pocket. It took me almost 4 weeks post operation before I could sit down and will myself to look at the pictures, but now, I am so grateful we took such thorough before and after pictures! You gotta remember where you came from to appreciate where you are now.**