Dear Doctors,

To all the doctors that told me,

 "Give up on the idea of running, take up horse back riding instead"

or

"You're health problems are caused from sleep apnea, not Pectus Excavatum, surgery will be useless-don't bother enduring the painful surgery"

or 

"You're just not pushing yourself hard enough, it's not the Pectus Excavatum, it's mind over matter"

or 

"Pectus Excavatum doesn't effect your lungs and heart at all--you're just lazy"

All of you jerk's can go jump off a bridge. And when you're swimming to shore, make sure you are breathing through a straw, then maybe we'll be even!!

I am went ahead had the surgery and now almost 24months post op, I am actually living life.  (believe it or not the first 12-18months post op I was still recovering, only now at 22 months do I really feel a difference.  My lungs are just now starting to expand and really grow, so I will only be getting more healthy and stronger as I get older-how lucky am I?)

This was my 2nd 5k.

 AFTER

 

My first Mud Run:

 

I have mild lung disease, I have 52% lung capacity, at one point my heart was pumping from underneath my left armpit.  And there are parts of my lungs being used for the first time-ever!!  I have days where the "it's unfair monster" takes a hold of me, but living life to the fullest is the best revenge.

"The first time you tell me, 'I can't' that is the first thing I am gonna do!!"

Because that's how I roll!!

Confessions about my health

Last Tuesday night I laid in bed, feeling gross about myself. I tried so hard to motivate myself; I bought those workout dvd's-failed, I tried walking 10,000steps a day-failed. I tried running-failed. I even tried working out to the fit-tv-failed. Despite what I tried I would quit, and quitting would make feel crappy about myself.

Then it hit me, not only am I trying rehabilitate my body from a massive surgery, but I am still unsure what all this new body and new set of lungs can do. It's like someone gave me all the accessories and sporting goods to play cricket and told me to have fun! I have NO earthly idea where to start. Shall I learn what on earth all the equipment is used for, or do I learn the rules first? ….catch my drift? So I decided to join the local YMCA. Mainly b/c they have an indoor pool (Yahoo!) and I love-love-love-love to swim so much (at 16 I became a certified diver). I started swimming laps in the pool and tonight I did a body-pump H20 style. I had to laugh at myself when we were using the dumb-bells, doing bicep curls I was so busy concentrating on working my core that I didn't realize my feet were not on the bottom of the pool and my butt was floating on the top of the water!

I have gone into this with a plan:

1. I am not joining a "gym" to lose weight. (what? I know. I know. but I can't worry about what the scales read AND concentrating on building back all the atrophied muscle I lost b/c of the surgery. That is just too much to worry about)
   

I also have a new motivation. I need to get better and help get my lungs stronger so when I go to take another breathing test in April I will blow the doctors out of the water. My surgeon is trying to write a medical paper about my case, suggesting that pectus excavatum DOES AFFECT THE HEART AND LUNGS. He told me that most of his colleagues believe that the sternum being caved inward DOES NOT affect the heart and lungs. So, for those of you who are not familiar with case studies or medical papers, what is going to make the most impact is going to be in the numbers and percentages. I don't think all those non-believers will change their minds based off of, "she looks better!"  

Tomorrow I will try the Zumba water...really excited about that...I wil update yall tomorrow!!

heating pad blunder

The last two weeks have been hard work for me. I am trying to ween myself off my nightly pain medications. I am afraid to report...without any luck. The pain cycle has not been very nice to me. So yesterday I broke down and called my surgeon for advice. Something they mentioned was to switch heat and ice.

So taking his advice, I was laying on the couch with the heating pad placed smack dab in the middle of my chest.
Me: "Chad I think your ancient heating pad may be on the way out....I have this sucker on 5 and its not very warm."
Chad: "Hmmm-on 5 it roasts me. Maybe its the extension cord..."
10minutes later
Me: "Oh. My. God. I am an idiot, I know why the heating pad doesn't seem like its working. I still can't feel my chest!!!
Chad: reaches for my incision, "Holy Crap baby your skin could roast eggs! Take that off!"
Me: "Ohhhh!!! that explains why the cold didn't seem that cold!"

Morphine dreams and epidural fantasies

So, I have a bit (tiny-tiny little bit) of an imagination. As a child, I would pick playing "pretend" over playing with most kids. Even to this day at night when I lay down to sleep, I think, "where do I want to go tonight?" As a person with A.D.D. this is a great tactic to slow my mind down enough so I can drift off into a happy dream!

When I had surgery 2 weeks ago to repair a birth defect, I was on a morphine drop and an epidural. Welp, there is no surprise that while in the hospital my morphine mind was playing pretend and my real mind was fighting like hell just to figure out where I was, or what I was doing. So for your entertainment I present my dreams! They get pretty funny!!

Day 1- Technology room

Day 2- International spy

Day 3- grad students @ Michigan University

Day 4-visiting the nurse at her house

Technology room- (the dream) As my nurse was getting me ready for bed, somehow I sweet talked her into taking me and my mom into this awesome technology room. So after hours my nurse came into my room and wheeled me into this bad ass room, where I got to spend the night!!! **Then in real life, the morning came and I woke up from my morphine dream confused, I kept saying, "Angie, you gotta take me back to my room, I don't want you to get into trouble!" It took the sober folks a while to figure out what I was talking about.

International Spy- (my personal favorite) Each morning at 2 am the ninja x-ray techs swooped into my room lifted me up with 1 arm, put something hard and cold underneath me, and with precision timing whirled this tower looking thing around and took a picture of my chest, as fast as they came in, they left. I never saw their faces, just their shadows. (Although 1 of the ninja's liked my care bear pillow case)

*The Dream-after the ninja's left I was struggling to make sense of everything. So I was lying in bed in a dark room and I could hear the soft snoring of my mother. It didn't take long and my mother become my partner and I was in the hospital, but not b/c of a birth defect, no, no, I had been shot. Shot trying to find out important international spy stuff. As I tried to sit up in bed, the reality of my drainage tubes became a gunshot wound.

Grad students- one night my favorite nurse came by to take some blood. Chad was on nightly wife duty and the nurses hadn't turned their lights off yet, so my room was brighter than usual. (The Dream) All the sudden Chad and I were grad students at Michigan University and had just gone to bed after a long night of studying. We were the only married couple amongst our friends, and we were so poor we could only afford a ½ bed and couch. So sad, married couple that couldn't afford a bed to sleep next to each other.

Over for dinner- We were invited over to Nancy's (one of my nurses) apartment for dinner, we got there early b/c she was running around trying to get things cleaned up. She was such a gracious hostess that she French braided my hair and went all the way to walgreen's to get me some food.

I don’t want a man shower, please!

There is something about a shower, a hot, steaming, shower, as the steamy water hits your hair and lets gravity roll it down your body that is healing for the soul. It wasn't until the surgery that I realized I had taken these mini-therapeutic sessions for granted! And for that dear shower God, I am sorry! Never. Again. Will. I. take. You. For. Granted. Never! The first shower out of the hospital was given to me by Chad, for him, it was more about cleaning wounds than luxury. But, as it would turn out, I had a completely different idea of what this shower would entail.

Thinking dirty yet? Don't. This shower experience was is a mere observation from a woman of science, for as long as I can remember I have always "analyzed" problems or people. It wasn't until college that I was trained to put it in a template. Yes, folks you can describe basic behaviors in an A + B = C template. Anyways, being a trained behaviorist comes in handy for my marriage, and in the case of the "Man Shower" it kept me from tearing my sweet husbands face off!

While in the surgical intensive care, I enjoyed a couple of sponge baths and 1 shower where I was taped down with plastic wraps, not exactly a peaceful steamy session, but I was able to wash my hair and brush my teeth-pseudo-peace! So when I finally got out of the hospital I was looking forward to an extra long therapy session of my own, no plastic wraps, and NO sponges.

Well Chad insisted on helping me, and having only been off morphine 24hours, I really didn't have a leg to stand on….no really, no legs; I was a bit too wobbly. I can't even begin to explain how excited I was about taking my first shower out of the hospital. But before I could even open the shower door, Chad pulled out those damn plastic wraps, and a shower chair.

Me: "What" (breath) "is" breath) "all" (breath) "that?" (breath.) I asked him frustrated.

Captain bubble buster: "Well babe, the doctor said….blah…blah…blah"

Still hopeful, I get in the bathtub expecting bliss and Captain bubble buster rips the shower head out of my hands.

CBB: "No babe, we have to get the water in exact areas"

Me: "OMG-just give me the shower head."

CBB: "calm down babe-I will get to it"

He would wash my leg and rinse it. Set the shower head down out of my reach, and clean the other leg. Then he would wash one arm, and rinse it.

Me: "Chad stop giving me a man shower!!…I want to sit and savor this moment…..(there was more to my speech, but it didn't work-I never got the shower head!}

CBB: after rinsing shampoo out of my hair, "Okay babe, we are……."

Me: "don't you dare say we are finished, I need conditioner"

CBB: "really? I don't want to risk exposing your wounds to more water"

Me: "Chad (enter last name) I offered to cut my hair so we didn't have to mess with this crap, now…..conditioner is our friend…get on with it"

The moral of my tale: Men shower like they shop. Deliberate, methodically, and cheap as possible, and avoid it at all possible costs.

Post operation update!

Hey guys! Friday is my 2 week mark! I can honestly say with each growing day I get a bit stronger. The pain is tolerable, (I am on darvocet 3x at night and ibuprofen during the day 3x) I just feel pressure and stiffness, that is what bothers me the most. I stretch 3 to 4 times a day and it has helped. I can lift my arms above my head and it has helped relieve the tension in the middle of my back. I walk as much as I can 2 x daily, either 2 blocks in the morning or around the block in the evenings.
I went on Wednesday to get my stitch and steri-strips removed, everything is looking good and healing wonderfully. Dr. Harrell cut slightly below my original scar but he made the end of my incision meet up with the ends of my old scar. I had 3 drainage tubes in the hospital the one on the right gave me the most trouble, when I finally got to sit up in a chair it drained 700cc in 1 hour. I use the coach 7 to 8 times a day, I have a long way to go on this, before leaving the hospital I couldn’t even blow a 500. Now I am blowing 1000-750 regularly. This is my biggest upset, I wished I was blowing better, but according to the Dr. Harrell, parts of my lungs have NEVER been used. He said that when he lifted my chest, he could see my lungs taking the air and unfurling for the first time. I took my first deep breath in Lubbock, it was deep and I could feel my lungs open up on the side of my body, something I had never felt before! Talking is extremely difficult; I have trouble carrying on a conversation because my lungs are so weak. I can say a few words, take a breath, speak a few more words, take a breath, and talk a couple words. It is hard and absolutely drains me!
Sleeping: This week I have accomplished sleeping in my bed the entire night! With the help of pillows I can prop up on my side and sleep wonderfully. I generally start out the night sleeping on a wedge pillow, but half way through the night my husband will swap the wedge for my pillow and I can sleep flat on my back! Such a wonderful accomplishment! My back thanked me for this! Using my leg, I can roll myself up out of bed, off the couch; out of the chair…you name it!
I have to take a nap daily otherwise I get pretty emotional, stressed, and fatigued. On nights where I get good deep sleep I have a nice energizing day, the nights where my sleep is restless my day is more difficult and I am dragging.
My appetite is coming along, though not quite back to normal. I’m eating three times a day, mostly soft foods because my throat and muscles are still tender. Lots of pasta, casseroles, and fruits which gives me plenty of energy. Life is slowly but surely returning to better than normal.

The long golden question

Dear Gold Buffalo Coin makers:

What were you guys thinking? Why in the world do they have to show the buffalo's thingy on it? I mean really? It's a coin not a biology lesson. I say, omit it and make the buffalo a female.


I mean, really?

Breaking the mold: A lovely story about a journey to health and emotional freedom

Have I ever talked about my A.D.D.? I joke about being affected by it pretty often, "there are 3 of us in our marriage, me, Chad and my ADD.!" It always gets a laugh. I have been medicated on and off since I was 22. I was working in a private autism school, and one afternoon my boss got tired of me running our office like a monkey and urged that I get tested. Not, only did I test positive for ADD-I tested on the high end; on a 1-10 scale, I got a 9.5. –no joke!

But before the jokes, came the coping and before the coping came the issues! After first being diagnosed I had major issues with it. I always stand out in a crowd, and I know, I know, all the lame clichés, about standing out in a crowd. But seriously when you stand out your entire life, and you just got diagnosed with ADD, ya kinda crave just being normal. As if being born with a birth defect wasn't enough, ya gotta throw in dyslexia, chronic headaches, migraines, and now A.D.D.! I remember so vividly laying in bed after just been diagnosed and just got my prescription of ritilian filled. I was still living at home with my parents, and my mom walked into my room. I was almost in tears, staring at the pill bottle-willing the issue to disappear. "This is a good thing-Krissy-lee!" My mom said in a voice only a mother has. Not making eye contact with her, "how do you figure? This will never go away mom. I am stuck like this forever." "Your right, but thank God we know, thank God you were diagnosed, thank God for medication, this is the answer we have been looking for. You are a smart girl Kristin, but the reasons your grades do not reflect it is b/c you simply can not concentrate. Simple as that, with 1 pill it will slow your brain down long enough to retain information."

So with a mom-required pep talk I began taking the medication. Let me tell you how it changed my life. I could listen to a song in full on the radio; I could slow my mind down long enough to focus during a conversation. I made sense. For once in my life I made sense. Try living a life where you know you're smart, but you can't prove it. This ADD closed the gap into what I knew about myself and what others could see.

I know all too well what it is like to fight. I have fought for my life when I was born, my education both in public school and college, and now when my life is finally good-no GREAT! I turn full circle and I have to once again fight for a better life.

Another gap in my life was my activity level. I love soccer, I love to run, I love to be on the go, and I love to be busy. It matches my personality. But I had trouble keeping up with my peers while playing soccer. My mother told me, "I wasn't a competitive person." Believing her, I quit. I had trouble running a mile under 8minutes-I figured I was more of a yoga person that a running person. I slowly started to turn inward, friendships grew apart, and I spent more and more time on the couch.

Then I met Chad (again) and he started to notice a pattern in my behavior. "Something isn't right" he told me over and over until I listened. Ha! Not exactly the 3 little words a girl craves to hear. It took me about 2 years and countless arguments for me to really hear what he was saying. In the end, however he was right. My heart is displaced, sitting on my lung and my breast bone and spine are about an inch apart. When exercise intolerance and fatigue are your main symptoms you think, "ha-shit Kristin, suck it up and go run!" Or you get angry with yourself for your own "disruptive behavior."

Once again there was a gap in my life. A gap from what I knew was true and what I could actually show people.

I am 72 hours away from having my chest cracked open like a walnut, cartilage removed from my chest, and bones shaved down, and a metal bar placed into my chest where it will remain for 1-2years. It will be a long and slow healing process. But emotionally I am thrilled, I am thrilled that a big-giant chunk of my life is starting to make more sense.

It's like my entire life people have told me, "Kristin, you are an A. No matter what you say or what you do, you are an A. There is no point in fighting this is set in STONE!!" But in a secret world… that nobody knows about not even me, or believes in not even me, it's really real-I have a private membership to world B. So my entire life I try so hard and fight and so hard to live in A, but something doesn't seem right. People keep reminding me I am an A, so I push through and fight more. I believe all the things people tell me about living in A, I believe I am not competitive, I believe I hate running, I believe it all. But in the world of B I love to play sports, and I love running. Damn it! Things don't make sense and I struggle living between the 2 worlds. I try to work out, but end up quitting, then get mad at myself. I try to get invested in yoga, but quit. Then, one magical day a Saint tells me 3 little words, "something is wrong." Slowly I start getting glimpses of a world I had citizenship my entire life, but never knew it.

Now?

I hate the restrictions of world B, but I love the view. I have broken the stone and look forward to the months, even years ahead of me!!

Thanks for following me on this journey

Bold Change!

In celebration of change I decided to do something bold!!

Late afternoon ramblings!

Today has been a busy day! I am trying to get as much done, b/c once next week hits....nothing will be in my control. No. Really.

I come from a family of leaders. I married a leader. I am a leader. So as June 04 steadily approaches I will be less and less in control.

Anyways, I am working hard....well as hard as a person with a compressed heart and lung can work.
I have planted my basil (I know, I know I got it in the ground late) weeded my herb garden. Then sat.
I created a wine/basil (frozen basil from last years harvest) marinade for a pork loin feast tomorrow night. Sat.
I started the broth for a wine based stew. Sat.
Found the stamps. Sat.
Finished the chocolate ice-cream. Sat.
Put the apricot/blueberry granita out to thaw, I am gonna put it in the ice cream machine. I am telling ya, I am damn addicted to it. Sat.

**On a side note, I blame, Off the beaten path for my newest ice cream addiction. Granted, I love ice cream, but her post about menchies peaked my interest and it's been down hill from there! It is like a challenge-I find something I love, and I gotta make it myself!!**

I gotta run to CVS and pick up my pictures for my 2 assistants end of year gifts. I am gonna glue em to a painted canvas, then I am sure I will sit!

We are having home made pizza tonight!! I can't wait!! You simply can't beat home made pizza, using herbs from our garden!! Speaking of which, my herb garden is about to take over the world!! I will post pictures soon!

I am pretty sure June 02 will be my last post until I am back home and well! So I am talking up a storm now, so you have something to remember me by until I can get back.

Did I say wordless Monday.....hmmm..not so much!

I made the batter for the dutch chocolate ice cream. It has to cool at least 8 hours and the "ice-bowl" in my new handy-dandy magic ice cream machine has to freeze!!

BTW: Never without, I found a lemon sorbet recipe, I will post on here soon!



I also whipped up this wonderful goat cheese artichoke salad! it was sooo good!!! It really hit the spot. I have been wanting the sun-dried tomato dressing for a while now, and today I finally broke down and bought it.
Now, I have bought, "kens" brand before and that flavor was "sweet onion" and it was high fructose corn syrup free. I was alarmed and quite frankly pissed-off to see that it was in my salad dressing. I was also annoyed that I had problems finding a cereal that was HCF free, and Hydrogenate oil free. Generally I eat oatmeal or bagels, but the store was out of bagels, and oatmeal is too darn hot to eat right now. So I settled on cereal..


Well anyways, enjoy the pretty colorful pictures!


orange bell pepper
cherry tomatoes
artichoke
dash of oregano
dash of salt/pepper/garlic powder
goat cheese
light coating of that sun-dried tomato dressing

enjoy, I just created it, and it was soooo GOOOD!

wordless...errm Monday!

Bring it on, ice cream!!

Granita/sorbet ingrediants

Never without asked about my granita/sorbet recipe....so here it is:

1 3/4 cup sugar (when it was in liquid form, it was way to sweet, but now that it is semi-frozen, It is a tad bit sweet, so I will continue to play with the amount)

2 cans of apricots
2 handfuls of frozen blueberries
dash of vanilla extract
dash of almond extract
3 or 4 tablespoons of lemon juice (just barely enough to taste the tartness)
dash of salt

boil mixture. put in blender. cool. freeze.

What would I do differently?
probably run the blended mixture through a sieve. I prefer a smooth mixture and currently I am eating through blueberry skins etc....
Now I want an ice cream mixer....I was worried about my concoction turning hard as ice, so I was constantly scraping it. I think that's why I have granita and not sorbet.

Also, I want to try and add some tofu (heart healthy) and flax seed (omega healthy!) I will keep you posted. But this week I will be making a mango/pineapple flavor! Its my favorite tofu shake flavor!

This week I will be cooking and preparing for surgery! I hate-hate-hate caned soups, but I love soups, so....I will be best friends with my stove this week! I also nearly gave my husband a heart attack when I came outta the shower exclaiming my hair is getting cut! lol, it was a very funny conversation. He could handle my sternum being cracked open, but mentioning 12inches of my hair is getting whacked off, he nearly passed, and his hands started sweating and he accused me of being, "rash!"

Lots of changes. I am working on on coping with them all!! Right now the hardest change is leaving work early. It sends me into tears pretty quickly!! I am sending 1 student to intermediate school, and another student I managed to teach him to talk, get him into a general ed class, where he proved to be a totally success..and now I gotta send him off to another campus. I have cried and cried!

One time, I sought out therapy for a bad time in my life, and she gave me the best advice on change, "fake it til you make it"
That is my motto for now!

Change. friend or foe?

I hate change, and in the last 9 days I have endured too much of it for my taste!

April 24: My mom called me, "Kristin I found you a surgeon in Lubbock! Quick! Call him, send him your medical records, I read a blog about him, and how the Ravitch procedure is better for adults!"
"Okay momma, I will be Saturday his office will be closed, I will call him on Monday"

April 26: out of obligation, I sent the good doctor my medical records.

April 28: He called. I about fell outta my chair, I was shocked that he made personal calls. He needed a little bit more information and my ct-scan disk. We agreed he would look at my information and call me back within a week.

May 6: A week and a day later, I hadn't heard from him, so I called his office. Turns out, his assistant has been out of town, and he hasn't even reviewed my information. But he would and call me back.

May 13: Still nothing. I called @ 3:36. His office apologized, and said he would look over my information and call me back today or tomorrow.
3:45, I was driving home and the Dr. called me back. I answered my phone, "this is Kristin" and he said, "Hi, Kristin this is Dr.____, and I think I can help you!
By 4:30, I had a a consult appointment scheduled for May 17, and a surgery date set for June 04.

May 14: I started the process of filling for emergency leave of absence-effective May 24.

May 17: We drove the 5 hours to Lubbock, spoke with the doctor for 2 hours and drove back. The surgery is on!
come to find out, my heart is sandwiched between bones and cartilage and sitting on top of my lungs. No damn wonder, I am tired all the damn time!!

May 18-21 Worked my booty off trying to get my classroom set and ready for me to leave.

This week starts my quarantine period until the surgery. I can't risk getting sick, and with my weak immune system, Chad has me lock-down. I managed to get Chad to "let" me go see Sex and the City premiere, but I am going ALONE at 12! I tried to pick the least busy time! haha!!

It sucks I can't finish the year out with my kids.
I am so sad about that, but honestly I don't think I could have finished the school year, my fatigue is starting to get the best of me. It was getting harder to make myself do into school each morning.

Don't piss on my leg and tell me its raining!

Had my consultation yesterday! I HATE DOCTORS! I REALLY DO!!

Here is some things he said:

1) Haller index's are pointless and he intends on writing a paper to prove it. I said, "well insurance companies don't see it that way" and he said, "they will after I write my paper"

2) PE doesn't affect the lungs and since my heart is fine it must be something else. He said, usually the biggest deal with PE is affecting the heart, not the lungs" I said, "i have read studies that contradict that" He said "No its usually the heart, it can affect the lungs, but that is RARE" (I wanted to pop off, "hi my name is rare, its nice to meet you!" but in a paper gown, my confidence to be smarmy was weak)

3) Due to the first surgery where my intercostal cartilage was removed, it has calcified and it is too ridged /stable to be a candidate for the Nuss

4) he had NO idea what asphyxiating chondrodystrophy was. which is what prof. schaar suggested I had...

5) He didn't think any surgery would improve my lung capacity

6) He thinks it is mainly a problem with my lung diffusion. I asked him, "okay lets take pe out of this equation, if I came to you-with a diffusion problem, what would you do to fix it?" No answer.

7) I asked him if constricted lungs throughout my life would cause lung diffusion problems. he said, "no"



I left the office crying. He basically said, go back to the pulmonary doc, you will find your answers there. But the pulmonary doctor says its airway constriction with a weak diaphragm.
I am overwhelmed with the feeling of defeat, very rarely in my life have I let something weight me down for so long (okay-okay, its not that long since the visit with Dr. Idiot, about 24hours) but typically I would have spent my planning period calling, researching, and figuring out my next step. Today? I sat and stared at my computer, mustered up some nerve to call a doctor in San Diego, but was put on hold and talked myself into hanging up.

My biggest fear is that I will be stuck like this for the rest of my life.
I am scared that I will drift into a place I can not return from....

Dear Doctors,

.....YOU SUCK! HERE'S WHY;

Reason 1: When I call you twice from a doctors office requesting MY echo results be faxed, don't lie to me and say you faxed them already. just don't! I am not an idiot! Then when I call a third time, why do you pick that moment to say, "Oh, yes maam, those results-well we can't fax them. You need to sign a release to have this doctor see them.

Okay first off, check your facts lady! He is the doctor that ordered the stupid echo.
Second off, It is an echo that was performed on MY heart. You charged MY insurance company!
Which I pay for...
Do you see a repeating theme in that sentence? MY, MY, MY!
Fax the damn results!

Then, the same stupid lady tries to tell me, "You can't have a copy of YOUR echo!"
...excuse me? I am so sorry, I could have sworn you said, I can't have a copy of my echo results...."

I didn't even get a chance to finish that sentence, the doctors nurse took away the phone before my head blew up!

Reason 2: When I email you (the surgeon), asking for a brief history of your experience. Don't blow me off! This is MY chest you are going to crack open. This is my insurance company you will charge. This is my life. You are the damn expert, you are the damn professional that people turn to for questions, and concerns. It is the price you pay to have the damn DR letters in front of your stupid name.
Just make life easy on both of us-answer the damn questions. Otherwise, I will have my entourage flood your office with phone calls of perspective patients and simply. Make your life frustrating! (not that I did that...or anything *wink-wink)

Case in point: I WILL NOT BE JACKED WITH OR PUSHED ASIDE! I will find another surgeon who will take the time to answer my questions!! I am waiting on a call back from a doctor in San Antonio.

Reason 3: I am smart, college educated, of course I am doing my research. Getting test result copies, emailing experts, getting recommendations. So don't get pissy with me, when I request that you get a haller index off the ct-scan. Then, when you don't, again don't be surprised when I get highly annoyed. Ct-scans cost close to $2600 bucks-so b/c of your arrogant mistake, you have wasted my time.

Reason 4: I know what tests I should have, don't waste my damn time ordering pointless tests. Can't fool me-fool!

Reason 5: I have seen the ct-scan results. I am not medically trained and they look alarming to me. So please, stop thinking it could be some great unknown disease causing my problems, and lets just call a zebra a zebra!
My lungs work fine, my blood is getting the proper amount of oxygen, my lungs can't fill with oxygen because my ribs are caving in around em.

pectus excavatum!


*****
Most of you have gathered that I was given the okay to find a surgeon. I am having trouble finding one with enough experience. I have 2 perspective surgeons, 1 in dallas, the other in San Antonio. Just doing a lot of hurry up and wait.

ct-scan

And that is why I can not breath!

Medical update!

Pictures were taken on my rare day off when I lived in the Bahamas. It was a beautiful day (You are probably thinking, "aren't all days beautiful in the Bahamas-lucky jerk?" Answer: Not during Hurricane session) and we were expecting another hard round of storms...so off we went! I think about this on days that I get peed on, or worse!

Please note: in this these pictures, I am wearing the powerpuff girls. My nickname in college was Buttercup! (I fell asleep during the Princess Bride)

**update**

I heart my new doctor! He is amazing, and thorough and the smell of his after shave put me at ease. It reminded me of my grandfather, he would put his after shave on for church, and anytime he went into town. I picked up pretty quick that my doc, takes immense pride in his career, and appearance. Not b/c he demands it, or is arrogant about it, but rather, b/c he is proud of himself for achieving it. He speaks with an accent I have yet to pinpoint. I am thinking maybe an Island, somewhere, I have heard it before....maybe the Bahamas??

Anyways, I birdwalk (blame it on the ADD) I will be scheduled for a non-dye CT scan, then off to see a Cardiologist for some test's, echo and EKG. He wants to see if the lack of oxygen my entire life has caused damage to my heart. I expected that all of the above tests would be ordered, what I didn't expect was, "Pulmonary therapy!" I love to work out, I love to run, But I have this eternal battle of mind vs. body. My mind wants to let go and just....errm. Go. And. Never. Stop. But, sadly my body just can't provide itself with the fuel to keep up. I have always though I just couldn't push myself hard enough. I thought I was a looser C team bench warmer type athlete.
It's amazing the weight that has been taken off my shoulders to know-I'm not a bench warmer: just can't breathe! I am excited about the therapy. I will learn how to exercise, with 1 lung! I am totally excited!

Welp there ya have it. My update. Tomorrow I return to work wearing my scrubs and tennis shoes. ha! This morning I worked a 1/2 day. Thinking I wouldn't get into a lot of trouble...not trouble try thinking I wouldn't get drooled on, peed on, or spit at, in a mere 3 hours of work...I wore cute black trousers. red and white Henley shirt (that I've had since I was 16-classic styles never go out of style) and an over sized/yet tailored off the shoulder black knit sweater. with a cute pair of ballet flats. I was wrong my friends. WRONG! My student peed in the chair, then I sat in said chair!

YUCK!!!