Monday, April 5, 2010

Evolution of a good day turned bad!

A picnic. On a beautiful Texas day with her husband and dog on the banks of the Trinity River. That sounds lovely-eh?

Looking back I should have seen the warming signs, if only I saw the warning signs.

*sigh* if only......

1) A picnic generally involves food. I wanted to cook a nice pasta-type dish. With fresh herbs, a hint of lemon to reflect the fresh and clean day. But Chad wasn't having any of that-he wanted something lighter. After a heavy discussion about how our bodies process energy, I need food pre-exercise. Chad needs light food post exercise. We brought out own dishes.

2) The plan was originally to take our bikes along the trails to the book store, spend the bulk of the day, then ride back to the park. But Chad twisted his ankle on a garden hose and bike riding was OUT of the question.

3) We get to the location and can't decide on where to eat, but then quickly realize that we picked a place next to 2 little yippe dogs that never shut the hell up!

4) Mia, sweet sweet Mia, got tied up under a tree about 10 feet from where we camped out. Down wind from where we were sitting. She peed.

5) We walk down to the shore line, the river was flowing and sound washed away my earlier annoyance. Mia somehow found the only stagnant pool of moss infested waste water and rolled, drank, and laid down....hell she unpacked her suitcases and moved in. How dogs are that gifted, is beyond me.

6) She decided that the blanket where Chad was laying, with his grapefruit size ankle needed to smell more like her. She ran on to the bank and gave Chad a river-water shower and to add insult to injury my 40lb dog thinks she is a lap dog. The more he fought her, the harder she tried.

7) So, we packed up river-scented blanket and headed back underneath the trees, we thought that yippe dogs were better than river scented wet-dog.

8) Mia is a very loyal dog, I rarely carry a leash with me, b/c....well she is a heeler and is she stays at my heels. So, when we go to parks, I generally take a nylon rope and tie it to her collar and it drags along beside us...its more for looks than anything. As we were walking back underneath the trees, Mia-Jean got...diarreha....BAD! I didn't see it, but Chad starts yelling, "Oh. My. God. the dog, is shitting all over the rope!" I look behind me. I shouldn't have. And apparently, for reasons unknown to me, I reached down to grab the rope. Chad yells at me, "NO! just untie it from her collar and leave it! You almost touched shit." I was startled by him yelling at me, "What do we do? Oh, God, man it is really coming out, and she keeps walking." At this point, Chad is laughing, "Well just stop walking and untie the rope and leave it-just leave it." My love for the planet overwhelmed me, I reached down and untied it. I was trying to figure out where to grab it so I could drag it to the trash. I kid you not, not a single part of that rope was clean. "God. Kristin, just leave it, please!!!" Meanwhile, Ham-bone still had diarrhea. There was a mile long of poo-from the bank to the trees.

I left the rope.

9) We finally got to a poop-free zone and put the protozoa infested blanket, that we now suspect is ground-zero for diarrhea land on the ground. If I tell Mia to lay down, she will generally follow directions and lays where I tell her, but I guess an upset stomach gives her authority to pick and choose the directions she follows, and laying down on the grass away from us, was not a rule she was intending to follow. Naturally, I realize her rebellion after she lays on my head.

10) Diarrhea dog on my head, was the final straw. The mood was gone, my patients for the day were left on the poo-rope. I felt totally disgusting, and craved a shower like a fat kid craves a cookie.

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