Nothing says a Redneck Easter like a little Breaking & Entering and a bucket around the dog's neck!
No folks, I am not kidding. I broke into my mother in laws house. Then about 4 hours later she came shooting through the house screaming, "Did somebody take the bucket off Charlies (the dog) neck?"
Easter Sunday we surprised my folks by going to church with them. Then I was nominated to make sure my crazy-crazy grandfather made it to my mother-in-laws house. This sounds like a pretty easy job, but in fact, it's not. My 90 yr old grandfather is about as wild as a 16 year old with a drivers license, and possesses about the same driving ability, and about as crazy as a nut. He is 2 hours early to everything, and has the attention span of a gnat. We have had to hold him hostage at a church so he wouldn't drive into the neighboring city 45minutes away for his chemo- therapies--alone! Then one time I drove out to his house to give him eye drops. I chased that damned ol coot on his tractor (which he wasn't supposed to be playing on) the goat on a rope chased me, the black dog chased the goat on a rope, and the little dog chased the big dog. It was a crazy farm moment!!
Anyways, I bird walk- In order to keep him where he is supposed to be, it is easier to hold him hostage, than to try and rationalize it to him. I managed to get him to the in-laws house then we realized we left their keys at our house. So we are standing around waiting for them to get in from church. I started to noticed my papa getting antsy-and just our luck all the doors are locked!
So I do what any redneck girl wearing a chiffon dress and yellow Antonio Melani heels does, I pop off a screen pry open the window open and hop on in!!
So my mother in law totally obsesses about her dogs, she has 12 acres with a creek that runs through the middle of it. Her 2 labs live in a shanty town make-shift dog house composed of tarps, chairs, ropes, hay, boxes, and fencing. There is a live hot wire that wraps around the property, but somehow those dogs keep getting out.
So my mother-in-laws solution?
She ties a bucket around the dog's neck. Now how that solves the solution of them running away, I am clueless. About 4 hours after we broke bread with our smorgasbord of family my mother in law runs into the house screaming. "Who took the bucket off the dogs neck."
Picture it if you will. You are sitting having a wonderful conversation with your sister in laws, drinking an ice cold root beer. You are so engrossed in the conversation that you forget where you are, you're not worried about money, paperwork, homework, doctors, medical bills, and you're completely in the moment. Then all the sudden these words leave the conversation at a standstill, "Who took the bucket off the dog's neck?"