Sunday, February 8, 2009

Pomp and Ceromony or a Wedding?

So I am totally going to vent here, so get ready (I am pretty much talking to my 1 reader!!)

Weddings, why are they so damn complicated? I heard a story today about this couple back in the early 1930's that spent the nickel in gas, drove into town and he said to her, "we spent the money to drive into town, lets get married." They bought rings, got a preacher, and at day's end they were man and wife. Again, I ask; "why, the f*** are weddings so complicated?"

There's the customized napkins, the party favors, the cake tasting, food ordering, invitations, planning, roses, picking out music, decorations and all the stupid etiquette and unsaid rules acquainted with each. When did it go from driving into town and getting a preacher that day, to giant pomp and circumstance?

What are weddings about?
a) the love and devotion you have with the man your going to marry?
b) Sharing the day with your loved ones?
c) Standing up in front of God and family and devoting your lives
d) a big giant wedding with tons of people and the bride being stressed and barely getting a chance to talk to anyone.

Lately, I have come to the understanding that the answer to this question is D.

What do I want?
A small intimate ceremony. A white dress, my dad gives me away, some pretty flowers, a nice meal, and time to talk with my Chad.

What my family wants for my wedding?
200+ people ceremony, giant party, and a giant wedding shower.

I am a stubbornly independent and very private daddy's girl, and Chad is the same but amplify it times 20. So when we sat down to discuss what we want for a wedding, we decided that we wanted to share it with the people that our in our life on a daily basis. Parents, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters. And that's it! But when we presented this to my parents they said they could only get the list to 186 people. Thats NOT small!

This wedding has been an extremely stressful one to plan. I have argued and fought for everything. I am either NOT following etiquette or NOT having it in the most acceptable a Church.

So I ask again, my hat in my hands? "Why are weddings so complicated?" Why can't it be about, me and what I want? It's my day! My mom has already had her day. *sigh* why? why? why? When did it change? Why have brides suddenly wanted more, to a point it just gets out of control??? Why isn't it acceptable to drive into town and do it that day?


  1. I'm sorry you are so stressed, I really wish there was some way I could help =( I am so glad you fought for your small wedding and got it, but it does suck that you hafta grin and bear it at a huge reception. To be honest, *YOU* are the one who is going to remember the details of your reception/shower/etc, not the people who attended. so screw etiquette, this time next year no one will even remember or care if you did what you were "supposed" to do. and my guess is your mom will be so happy with how the reception turns out, no matter how it turns out, that she will be glowing after the party and not even remember all the stress and fighting it took to plan it!

  2. I am so sorry. I wish it was easy enough to have the day you want...