Monday, January 11, 2010

screwed up lessons from a Special Ed. teacher

Today, I wondered into the workroom to check my box and I saw a teacher crying. I mean her eyes were water faucets.
"OMG! El, what is wrong"
"I just found out I am having a boooo-he..*sobs*"
Well I am an elementary special ed teacher, and I deal day in and day out with parents who are still mourning the loss what their ideal perfect child. I figured something horrible and awful was wrong, like spinal bifida, or MR. I immediately started consoling her, she is now crying on my scrub top.
"And what did the doctor say?"
"*sniff* what do you mean?"
being as calm-and enduring as possible.
"I mean, did you get the ultrasound results, did they find something wrong with your baby?"
"No, I am just having a boy-and I REALLY wanted a girl."


"yeah *crying again* but I really wanted a girl!!"

I walked away

lesson: Appreciate what you have, and stop bitching about what you don't have!
I deal with parents who break down in tears b/c their 7 year old child prefers to play with a toy recommend for a 16 month old.
I have parents get me an engraved book mark b/c I taught their 7 year old to talk.
I have mothers say through tears, I really want my daughter to say, "mother."
I answer questions like, "do you think our daughter is capable of knowing the different between a picture of a cat or a picture of a dog?"
I have parents who are never going to see their child off to the prom, or get their drivers license. Even more simple, I have parents who are never going to hear the sweet words like mother or dad.
They are never going to know what normal life is-what it is like to take their child on play dates, or out to eat at a nice restaurant, or mothers taking their daughters to go shopping.

And here I am staring at this first time mother-crying and disappointed over the gender of her healthy (at this point I am seeing visions of this boy having acceptance issues from mommy-so normal is debatable) baby.

*sigh* her world is a world I will NEVER understand.
Well I am off to go run my 1/2 mile in 7minutes. With my lung capacity of 55% due to the fact that I was born with a birth defect. I am standing the beginning of a long journey to getting normal, CT scans, MRI's, stress tests, box tests, echos, EKG's, another surgery to where they break my sternum and leave a metal bar in for an entire year.....AND this woman is bitching about the fucking gender of her healthy and debatable normal baby.
it just pisses me off!

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